Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Busy, busy or not busy doing important things

I have very good friends. On Facebook one of them posted this article on How to Escape the Cult of "Busy". You may have heard of it,  I definitely suffer from it. I even joke that I do not know how I had time to work since I remain so busy after several months of not working. My to do list is not getting any shorter but the mean girl voice in my head does get sharper.

I think in some ways, I answer this way because people expect me to answer this way. Sometimes as I think about how I am doing, someone will say "busy" with a knowing glance. I nod because my mind remains blank as to how I am doing. I am smart, but sometimes my mind works slowly. I do not have a quick response for everything (unless it is sarcastic, I always have a quip ready).

The author gives a number of reasons why people constantly say they are busy. I think I suffer from all of them.

I matter
I am super important
I am giving you an easy excuse
I am afraid
I feel guilty

I am not sure how relevant the first two are- but to be honest I am sure there is some of that going into my "I am so busy" mantra. But the last three are the ones that hit home.

The reality is chasing a two year old around all day and caring for a houshold of a husband and two older boys does keep me very busy. BUT there is time, I spend most of it on Twitter and Facebook and generally wasting the time. So while my time is full, it is not fulfilling.  Dont get me wrong, I love Twitter, I appreciate all of the people I follow and let me keep up with their lives, but it is not actually living to do so.

I could try to stop being afraid and guilty and worried about doing something half assed. I could be more silent. Perhaps I should try small increments.

Today I will start with twenty minutes of quiet during Ryan's nap time. I will put the phone away, turn the tv off and read one of the three books on the side of my bed (Bible, Breaking Free, or Lean In). Baby steps for a big change, I can do it. Then of course I will nap, because a mother should always sleep when her baby (toddler) is sleeping. :)  I am joining my friend who said "wont you join me?" in her effort to escape the cult of busy.

You can be sure I am busy, just as I am sure you are busy, but when I ask you how you are, let me know if I can help or let me know how you are for real.

We are gifts to this world, we dont need to listen to the ugly voice in our head.

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