Pandemic Purchases part 1

I am never going to be an influencer. I realize this because I am terrible about hyperlinking and I am old. Of course, those are the only two reasons. However, I have made some purchases that I am glad I did in the past nine months.  Despite H's disdain for all things Amazon, many of my purchases have been from there. I have been slowly weaning myself from the rush of purchasing something and having it two days later, I dont know how that gets to be addicting. I will get addicted to literally anything- annoying. 

Apparel: 

For some reason in March I needed to buy ALL OF THE LOUNGEWEAR- my need to do so continues now that the weather has turned chilly again. This was my first purchase upon my quarantining on 3/17 Women's Lightweight Lounge Terry Pajama Pant $18 what a steal!  Only problem with these is there are no pockets, I still love them lots.  All Day Sweatpant $88 a FB friend from high school swears by these pants and insisted it was reasonable to spend any amount of money for these. I am glad I tried them, I think with some code I got 20% off. They have pockets which is great for carrying around a work phone while wrangling children to remote school corners. This long sleeve hooded pullover ($28) was all over my social media feeds for awhile before I decided I must have it. And I gotta tell you, I love it. No pockets in the hoody, but it is cozy and perfect after a workout or a shower or lounging generally.  

Miscellaneous items: 

Sprinkler-$14 with the return of warm weather but not public pools or spray grounds, I began to amass fun water things. Kids were not impressed. We had one fun day when it was 60 degrees outside, but when the weather turned actually warm, they didnt want it. Of course, I thought I should double down on my purchases, and I got this pool ($39) and later this cover ($14). Failures all the way around. I am not the kind of person who will take care of a pool the way it needs to be taken care, this is why I live in a city with a lot of public pools and spray grounds. Alas, the kids spent a majority of their time on the devices and fighting, a good summer.

Working from home had me standing to do work on the computer. I liked it, so when I could return to the office, I got this stand up desk ($92.04). I love it! I find it easy to move it up and down and when my watch tells me to stand up, I can easily continue my work. At some point, but not on Amazon apparently, I got myself a Nespresso Machine ($99). I wanted frothy coffee without going to the coffee shop. This machine delivers. EXCEPT FOR ONE BIG ISSUE, the capsules are ridiculously expensive and one has to send the capsules back to recycle them which in the middle of a pandemic is too much for me. BUT I love the coffee and I love my machine. 

Since I dont have all day to write this post, I will stop now. Next time, I will talk about all the plane tickets I bought...kidding. I want to tell you all about the foot bath, the NuFace Mini ($153.00), the ring light (a dud for me $36), the coffee cup (the one I bought is no longer for sale, but they have great merch), the fun shirt, the silk pillow cases ($32.97), the small dehumidifier ($39.99), nevermind the many totes, books (for me and for the kids and for friends), hats (mine is off-white and I got outside of Wrigley), and shirts (I got the grown up version which is sold out, such a great, soft shirt). 

Hot Take: Last.Fm

Music fans know about last.fm. Alas, I only learned more about music about two or three years ago. Which, of course, is about 15 years after the height of last.fm.  But I still find the platform useful. 

1.  LISTS- of course you know I love lists. This platform allows me to see which songs I have been listening to. 

2. Last.fm gives me weekly reports of the when and what music I have been listening to as well

3. It provides suggestions of new songs to listen to based on the music I have been playing.

It can connect to all of the various music playing platforms, including YouTube and Bandcamp (with a special plug in on the Chrome), so you can always know what youve been listening to. You can also enter in the shows you have visited. I did enjoy this feature for a long time, like when we were able to go to shows, but I have stopped using it as much. 

I wish more of my friends were on Last.fm so I could see to what they were listening, I am sure in the heyday, this was a great social platform that gave some small bands a chance in this hyper competitive music world. 

Writing

Twitter era has messed with my writing skills. I have all of these great topic ideas. I start to write about these topics and while I could talk about the topics, I have trouble putting the words into writing. I could blame the Twitter or I could just keep writing until I remember how to write. 

I do love Twitter, I have been on it for twelve years. Too much has changed on that platform. It used to be a great place to meet people,  but now it seems limited to content generation and audience creation, and I dont mean that in a good way. Authenticity is hard to come by anywhere on social media platforms. 

Many of great friends in Charlottesville have come from Twitter and they dont mind that my writing skills have deteriorated. Still, I will keep writing slightly longer form on the blog hoping I can improve my skills. 

Fitness Classes? What am I thinking?

It's always a good idea to do what you want regularly in order to make it a habit, therefore I offer the second post in two days. 

Additionally, this is why group fitness classes worked so well for me, once I stopped ridiculing them (I mean, I grew up in the 80s, and group fitness did not have a good association) and started attending. Like all things, I couldnt do it without my friends and I have a big shout out and thank you to Aimee for that little push, and by little push, the 6AM Body Pump class at the Y almost four years ago. And thank goodness for Aimee and all the friends and help in getting to the gym.  It's never one thing that helps a good routine to start, but there is usually a spark, and Aimee was that spark for me. 

A few things that gave me access to fitness classes: child care at the gym and relative affordability of the gym and location (I walked home many evenings because of transportation issues). 

The first few months of working out, I would do Body Pump two times a week, Sprint (a HIIT Les Mills cycling class) and cycling another time or two. I found the more I did it the more I wanted to do it. Of course, that isnt entirely true, for a long while, I had to self-motivate and it usually involved eye candy ("maybe that cute person will show up" I was not in the dating market), any trick to make the class happen for me, I used it. 

My 6AM Body Pump instructor and I became buddies during this "fitness journey."  She is a solid 20 years younger than I am. Some people didnt find her adorable, but the way she was imperfect, inspired me. Body Pump is already a very intense class, so that she never took herself too seriously (how can you when you teach on Monday mornings, Wednesday and Friday mornings at 6AM?) gave me permission to be imperfect and acknowledge the struggle and celebrate the wins once the class finished.  

I will continue to talk about group exercise classes in some posts because any trick to get me to work out is what I will do, accountability is a critical aspect to starting a routine. 

The point of this post- there are two: accept invitations (and invite!) from your friends and group exercise classes are a good way to introduce yourself to fitness no matter your age or fitness level. 

Nourishing Habits and liberating mindset

I have a list or two, as I create them frequently. 

The most recent list says the following: WHAT TO DO RIGHT NOW? and I list 9 items.

At the bottom of the list is says THINGS NOT TO DO RIGHT NOW! and there are four things. 

What does this have to do with anything? I am trying to explain my reappearance on the blog. #6 on my what to do right now is "write about anything"  since I am trying not to do one of the not to do right now things (eat/Facebook/Twitter/buy shit), well, here I am. 

I have run my last election in Charlottesville. I feel a lot more free to say things that I would not have said over the last decade, actually give me another few weeks and I will feel a lot more free.

As chair of the board the past two years, I have felt a responsibility not to be too free with my personal opinions (at least in public) in order to avoid confusion. 

Much has changed over the past decade in Charlottesville and the pace of change appears to be speeding up now. 

My quaint little blog from before I was elected, when I was practicing law, when I only had two then three kids, and now, I have four, oh and never mind the changes in the state of marriage. It's a lot to catch up on and it's too overwhelming to even consider. 

Today though maybe I move forward and write one thing- anything- and that leads to writing more. And maybe there will be valuable things for the readers to see and read about. Maybe I will be able to finally say things that I have been thinking and saying privately, that the reader may want to hear about. 

And to my poor grammar and punctuation loving friends, I am so sorry. I should make a disclaimer for you all especially, grammar is not a high priority for me. I can do it when called upon, although if you see a mistake over and over again, I am happy to adjust if you tell me how wrong it is! 

I know how much content there is right now. I hope to create something folks might be interested in reading about on the following subjects: motherhood, education policy, local Cville politics and happenings, music, relationships, and other things like mental health/what I am reading and learning/law related things/baseball/sports. Thanks for reading!

Opinions

I have a few opinions. I keep most of them to myself for I think good reasons. One of the reasons being is my opinion likely wont change anyone else's mind, so I am not willing to get in a back and forth on something where opinions are unlikely to change. I do occasionally change my opinion. I dont think opinions are facts so I am willing to consider additional facts; also I do not assume I have all the relevant information so changing my opinion on a subject is reasonable when new information is considered.

Since we are all innundated with information constantly, I filter out a lot of crap. I am amazed how hardened people's positions are on things when not all information has been considered. I also see a lot of information that is misleading, inaccurate, and/or designed to confuse issues/people. Information is being used against us no matter which side of an issue we are on.

I have been elected to have an opinion on certain issues. I am grateful to have such a position. I take my position seriously (as all of us do on the school board). Frequently, the Board is asked to vote on a staff recommendation on a subject matter. We typically receive the agenda a week in advance and background materials around three days before a meeting. I was reminded last time I asked for more time with the agenda/background material that the school system is complying with the law. I understand, but I find it difficult to truly examine the issue fully when given so little time to review it.

I may be the only one who needs all of this time. I think I may need more time to review because I trust so little information presented to me, and not because the information is untrustworthy, necessarily, but I am a trust, but verify, kind of person. Unfortunately, people providing the information can be offended by my "verification" which I can understand, but I do feel it is a critical aspect of my job. Also, I hope my questioning and review of information makes for better policy overall.

student loans

Soon after I graduated law school a friend asked me to talk to her sister. My friend and I both graduated from our respective graduate programs with more than $150,000 in student loan debt (not credit card debt). We both were paying the least amount possible (hers were income based, mine were based on a 20 year repayment). We continue to pay approximately the amount of a mortgage towards student loan debt. Coming out of undergraduate, both of us had loans. Since I had spent my first two years at PVCC and I worked all through college, I had less than $30,000 in debt from undergraduate loans.

My friend's sister had applied to grad school in social work and was enamored with NYU's social work program. This program at the time was wildly expensive, no doubt even more so today, and at the time the two year program was competitive with what my three year law school program cost. My friend had tried to talk to her sister about student loans and the burden the loans would be for decades to come, but like most a. young people and b. people super excited about his/her future, she didnt want to listen to her sister.

I sat with her one evening at a restaurant in a mall in northern Virginia. I told her the burden of student loans. She really didnt want to hear it from me either. Her perspective may have been it is easy for me to say. I had the job I wanted after law school (working for legal services) and had just gotten married. She certainly could look at me and say I had everything I wanted, so it was easy for me to look back with some regret on the student loan aspect of my experience. I may have made the same choice to pursue law if I had been fully aware of the burdens of student loans, but I may have made other decisions with respect to working during school or part time graduate school. I hope to encourage our young people to be fully aware of the costs over the long term of student loans so that students and their families can make the best possible decision.

My friend's sister ultimately did not go to a social work program or to NYC. She choose a modest graduate program in a field that was in demand and went to a state school. She is doing well.

September

So...how is it that the calendar fills up so quickly? I ran into some folks the other night and I told them that DnA were both playing baseball (on two different teams) and D was playing soccer as well. Friend 1 asked sincerely, "how are you doing that?" I honestly didnt have an answer except we are clearly crazy people.

Then we had our first weekend of baseball (soccer practice has begun, but the games dont start til this weekend) only. Um, I do not recommend this schedule. It definitely takes both Chris and I to be able to pull this off AND Ryan's schedule gets all screwed up AND so far I have not prepared enough food to ward off the hunger. Hunger is very important to ward off. I assume I will get better at all of this juggling. I cant imagine how we will do this when Ryan has things we have to attend, and oh we have another baby to bring with us to these events.

The swim meets with just me and D seem like a distant memory at this point, I hope I appreciated them enough.

On a positive note there is now football. I do love watching football, especially on Sunday nights.

September, as a School Board member, brings about many, many things to attend. I want to attend everything. I love a PTO meeting. I appreciate touring schools with principals. Everytime I attend a meeting, talk to a parent or meet with a principal, I learn something new that truly informs my decision-making. Most schools have Tuesday evening PTO meetings. Few schools have Monday or Wednesday meetings, I am grateful for those that do though.

September marks the beginning of the fall Bible study at my church. I am really excited. Oh, it's on Tuesday. Also D has soccer practice on Tuesday. So, I wont make it to too many things on Tuesday, since there is no way to be able to do it all. I would definitely wait until Wednesday to reach me if it is not an emergency.

I am trying to get away from the cult of busy-ness. The summer was relaxing and mellow. I want to keep my stress levels low and be intentional about what we are doing as a family. I see this may be a challenge. I like a challenge.

Have a great Tuesday!

Such matters

Funny thing about being pregnant for the fourth time, one likely does not want to gain much weight. I have a doctor who is notorious for his 20-25 pound suggested weight gain. After having two babies thirteen months apart nine years ago, gaining weight is not something I am interested in.

A few weeks ago I went in for the five month check up (or is it 4- I really dont know anymore- it was week 21). It was Monday, I have gained about 6 pounds during the pregnancy thus far. I am relatively pleased with this number and not at all concerned.

So a few Wednesdays ago we have an ultrasound- the five month one (I think). The baby is a girl. Wow- I didnt know my body could produce girls, so we are excited (as we would have been if we had found out it was a boy). Later the big man, Dr. T, as most of the ladies in town know him, tells me that the umbilical cord has two blood vessels in it whereas a normal umbilical cord usually has three. Of course I immediately google these things since the big man was absolutely unconcerned with the lack of a third vessel.  Turns out one of the potential issues with a lack of a third vessel is IUGR (interuterine growth restriction) (see I am an expert now) (just kidding). IUGR is characterized by the failure of the baby to grow in utero (see it's rocket science how these things are named).

The doctor is unconcerned- he looked closely at all of the areas that may be affected by this lack of a vessel (including the kidney and heart) and all were growing well, and the baby weighed what she should weigh (if they can tell such things) at 15ounces. About 1% of pregnancies have this issue and 80% of the pregnancies have no complications as a result (see the internets are good for something).

Since that appointment the baby feels like she has doubled in size- the next appointment will not be a one or two pound weight gain, I suspect. I was told last night that the baby seems to be growing in the past week or so (I feel it too).  So while I am not interested in gaining weight for the sake of it, I am delighted to have physical evidence that the baby seems to be growing normally.

The park is in sad shape

We spend many days here. Obviously this is a gorgeous day and the park looks beautiful

 Ryan loves the park no matter the condition

The mulch is gone under all of the swings (including baby swings).



the rundown

One minute to write; I am not sure that devoting such a little bit of time to writing will help me become a better writer. What is going on?
1. Tour de France- I seriously enjoyed this year's Tour. I have been watching the Tour since 2001. Chris taught me the fun things about it (green, polka dot and white jersey competitions as well as the strategy that is behind some of the tactics used by teams). I love July. I cant wait until next year's Tour route is announced (usually in October). It was announced that 2014 will start in Yorkshire. I am super excited about the talented American cyclists in the Tour. Andrew Talansky finished 10th overall and 2nd in the white jersey competition; TeeJay Van Garderan(?) had a hard Tour (especially considering last year he came in first in the white jersey competition), but he put in some excellent rides and made me proud. I hope Ted King gets on a Tour team next year. I was so sad for him when he crashed on the first day of his first Tour. The first week is brutal and the Tour is unfair, so much drama and excitement.

2. Fairy Stone State Park. I do recommend Virginia state parks for a vacation destination. We had a nice week with the boys' cousins in Fairy Stone. Fairy Stone is close to Martinsville. We enjoyed a trip to see the Martinsville Mustangs, a Coastal Plains League baseball team, play ball on BB&T $1 night. I do love baseball. Although the Mustangs did not do well, I did enjoy watching the game on a gorgeous summer night. Fairy Stone has a great beach and amazing programming for kids and adults alike (I truly appreciate the Rangers in our state parks).

3. Pop up campers. In the past we have rented a cabin in state parks. This year, with the in laws coming, we opted to rent a cabin and a site at the campground. Our friend lent us his pop up camper so we "camped" in the pop up camper. The camper was capable of water (we didnt hook it up), had no restroom, no real fridge, no real light, no AC but it slept the five of us comfortably. I did bring four fans with us, which we needed rarely. At night the temperature cooled down sufficiently in the woods that the fans left us cold. The bed was comfortable (I shared with Ryan). It was nice to have the cabin close by to store our food and have showers. I was delighted to return home early so that I could attend a school board meeting, I dont think it was the camper as much as being the woods for too long. I felt the need for home, shower, laundry etc.

4. I came home on Thursday for the meeting and the rest of my family came home on Saturday. So what did I do with all of my free time? I thought I would go to a movie and get a pedicure or shop. BUT NO, I went to the library, checked out three books and read them. I also watched Thursday's stage of Alpe d'Huez (where TeeJay had a great ride until the final 3k). I ate out practically every meal (mostly by going to the store and buying ready to eat stuff like the spring rolls at Fresh Market) and I watched stupid streaming movies on Netflix. I hibernated during the time the boys were gone and it was delightful.

My time is up, perhaps I will have more to say soon....thanks for reading.

Phew

Ryan is ready for baseball practice. Seriously, the hat, the glove, the batting glove, he is ready. He is quite good at hitting and catching for a two year old. Having had two other two year olds back in the day, I feel like I am in a position to judge. He is "ready to go". The tantrum that will ensue as a result of his inability to go to practice will be similar to the other tantrums he has thrown lately.  The after nap/evening two year Ryan is challenging right now. We have moved to my mother's house while we sell the house, so no doubt he is discombobulated.

Also, a couple of weeks ago, Chris went to Banner Elk, North Carolina for several days to ride his bicycle with some friends. He had a great time. We had a very nice time as well since didnt do any real work on the house while he was gone. When he came back we had a fabulous family weekend as a result of my cousin getting married. It was incredibly relaxing and soul nourishing. We quickly followed up that relaxation with a crazy four days of cleaning, moving and transitioning out of the house we have lived in for eight years. And now it is the last week of baseball and school, so things are not too settled.

Someone asked me what is on my plate now. I really thought after we moved that things would settle down. But that is not the case. School Board is kicking up with some policy discussions in the next two weeks, David's TENTH birthday, family visiting, reunions, bike rides, swim team and SUMMER. Dear me, I will continue to only sporadically blog because of the inability to spend more than ten minutes in  front of the computer.  If I start to blog more, perhaps it will because I am feeling more settled. So wait for it...

only one thing going on...

But it is a big one. Chris and I are buying my mother's house. To do such a thing we have to sell our current house. My mother does not live far, she lives in the City, in a slightly larger house with a more finished basement.

We have made nice improvements to the house we live in since we moved in. The back living room used to be panel walls with a weird, drafty sliding glass door. Chris took out the paneling and put up drywall and replaced the door with windows. He also added windows looking into the back yard, this helps a lot when watching the kids and/or yelling at them through those windows. He also replaced the water pipes. He has learned a lot and leaned on his friends a lot for knowledge and tools.

But getting the house ready to sell has challenged him at every turn. First, he replaced the bathroom floor which is slightly more complicated because one wants to make sure the fixtures are replaced perfectly to avoid leaks (plumber friends help).

He built a wall where a makeshift wall had been between the second bathroom and pantry were. Then he ripped up the sidewalk because some of the panels had been damaged by the snow of 2009. He replaced the entire sidewalk (with the help of our local cement vendor and a very good friend). It looks great.

He fixed a light that had not worked in years, he put up the gutters (dont ask), he replaced carpet with a hard floor in a well-travelled transition area.

He somehow got our kids to help him move all of our yard debris from 8 years of living here into a trailer and transported it away from our house. Finally, he has moved much of our stuff out of the house to my mother's basement. He has been superman. He still has to replace the kitchen floor and some stuff I cant remember.

ME? Oh, I have been continuing to make meals (unless I pick up dinner), watching the children, packing and trying to convince Chris to hire people to do the work he is doing (without much success). We have hired people to replace the roof (he would still be working on it if we had not hired someone) and to help with landscaping/clean up.

My mother had been well into the process of getting her house ready for sale with the help of a realtor. Since the realtor was not needed to complete the sale, we agreed to have her realtor sell our house. He is coming this week to inspect Chris' work and see if our house is ready for sale. We have lots to do before he comes, but we are a lot further along than the first time he came to visit.

Our house is a great house, in a wonderful neighborhood, we love it here.  We love the way the boys walk by themselves to their friends house right up the road. We love that when we go for a walk, we run into someone we know. We had no plans of leaving ever, but since we now have three children who continue to inexplicably grow, the idea of a bigger house is appealing, and since my mom was ready to sell hers, well it just seemed like a great deal.

My mom has lived in her house for 16 years. We had our rehearsal dinner party at her house, we have had countless holidays and meals at her house, my children have been at her house many days a week since they were born.  I studied for the bar exam when I couldnt stand the mess at Chris and his roommate's apartment anymore before we were married (since I passed it seems relevant). Now Chris and I will make more memories at the house, as our own home. How cool is that?

School Board recap 5/2

It has been a school board filled week. Friday and Saturday we had our retreat. Monday, I attended a VSBA (Virginia School Board Association) conference on the Evaluation of Superintendents. (Evaluation process has changed for principals, teachers and now will for superintendents. The change provides superintendent's evaluation to include student achievement data).

Wednesday night we met with City Council and PVCC to provide input to Piedmont on programming and collaborations. PVCC is a jewel in our community (as an alum, I am not at all biased). I did suggest Piedmont expand its nursing/radiography programs. The discussion was so helpful. I particularly appreciated Dr. Friedman's point that many in the nursing program are not coming out of high school, the average graduate is in her late twenties, early thirties. Since I had suggested perhaps putting a nursing program for high school students (a path to a nursing Associates degrees for high school students) at CHS, his point was a useful reminder. As a community I think we need to emphasize career paths that will allow our graduates/young people to get into the middle class. The three boards (City Council, PVCC's Board and the School Board) are focused on that goal.

Last night we had our School Board meeting. We adopted the Spanish textbook. Spanish in the elementary schools is one of the most exciting things happening in Charlottesville City Schools. I say that even though I question the expenditure in the budget every year. The program costs a lot. When the Board is looking at raising class sizes for core classes and Spanish and a million dollar deficit, Spanish is something I think logically should be on the table. Having said all of that, I am a believer in the program (can those two thoughts co-exist? yes). From kindergarten, our students take Spanish twice a week. In sixth grade, all students have to take Spanish 1 (starting next year) after six years of learning Spanish. To graduate with an advanced studies diploma, a student needs three credits of foreign language and after sixth grade the student will have one credit completed. The division understands that meeting the foreign language requirement is a barrier to many receiving advanced studies diploma, so training children from early on allows more students to be eligible for the advanced studies diploma. I have taken years of Spanish, I know how foreign language helps in the job market, I think this is a really valuable program. I am working to ensure that next year we do not have to discuss reducing our important programs in the budget process.

We also voted on a new visitor policy. This was the third month we discussed this policy. It is clear where we all stand, yet we still managed to have an interesting discussion on the subject. In this day and age, visitor policies draw a lot of scrutiny. I firmly believe that those wishing to do harm to our community will not be following the visitor policy, no matter what it says. I also believe that the visitor policy change is unnecessary. However, five of my fellow board members did want the change despite my brilliant arguments (ha!).  I hope this policy will provide the certainty to administrators and Resource Officers that the division seeks.

I continue to seek your input on issues related to the schools. I truly appreciate your comments/emails/phone calls. Thank you!

Also next week is Teacher Appreciation week, I hope you have a chance to show your appreciation to a teacher next week!

Teacher Appreciation Week 5/6/13 through 5/10/13

I can not express how grateful I am for teachers. Our society holds teachers to an impossible standard, yet many go above and beyond every single day. We have teachers who literally risk their lives for their class, those whose kind words inspire a child, and those many who challenge students with new material every day, all in addition to the bureacratic burdens placed on them every day.

I am not at all biased (ok I am). Every year (well before I even considered school board) we have had to sit with Andrew's teachers to discuss his anxiety and organizational issues. Every year, teachers accommodate him and he exceeds our wildest expectations for his performance. David's teachers have been flexible and accommodating of him and his peers as they ask a billion questions and allow them to explore topics further.

I know, I know not all teachers are amazing, extraordinary or even mediocre. I get it. I wont romanticize the profession but the profession has a lot of unfair press and not enough positive coverage for people who work so hard.
Thank you to teachers. I appreciate your efforts on behalf of our children. I appreciate the weekends you give over to grading and drafting lesson plans. I appreciate the evening phone calls to parents whose children did not attend school that day, I appreciate the "hall duty" you take seriously. I appreciate the smiles and hugs. I appreciate that you can keep order in a class of 23 seven year olds, then teach them math at the varying levels (how?). I appreciate that you keep granola bars in your desk for those children who come to you hungry. I appreciate how you seek ways to improve your skills. I appreciate that you show up for work every day and take seriously the profession of teaching. We could not do our job as policy makers or parents without your sincere efforts.  I could go on and on. And maybe I will sometime, but for now...

Thank you.

what's been going on?

Spring is finally here in Central Virginia, complete with the azaleas, lilacs, rain and pollen and some sort of stomach bug. Usually I dont associate spring with illness, alas having kids means that illness knows no season.

Having a child with anxiety means that testing season introduces a whole new level of illness-the fake or psychosomatic illness. What a delight that has been. He insists it is not testing, but the thought of being separated from his class in the event of a fire drill. I agree that could be nerve wracking but this is the first time this year he has worried about it.

David mowed the lawn mostly by himself last week. I mowed the lawn frequently when I was growing up (after we moved to a house when I was 13). I have fond memories of mowing the lawn. I still enjoy mowing the lawn.

I keep thinking David will be 10 soon. TEN, 10! TEN!!! I am not ready. His birthday is more than a month away- but still 10. It seems like a big deal. He will be on a bike ride on his birthday with his uncle and father, which I think it is a great way to celebrate such a milestone. At what point do we stop doing birthday parties? A lot of his friends have had parties, and I am happy to have one, but I do wonder when the birthday party madness stops.

The School Board had a retreat on Friday and Saturday of last week. The  Board did some hard work, including an evaluation of ourselves. This week we have our monthly meeting, along with a meeting with Piedmont Virginia Community College. I am looking forward to the meeting with PVCC. The school system is working with PVCC on some fantastic Associates Degree programs, I want to discuss nursing as one of those programs.

Our house has been more chaotic than usual. We had the roof replaced, Chris put the gutters back up (they have been off of the house for at least four years), Chris is replacing the front sidewalk so our front yard is a mud pit. He built a wall where a makeshift wall stood. He is doing a lot of work. I find it amusing that even as things are improving incrementally the whole house looks awful.

On Monday, I am going to my third hearing of the Vendor Appeal's Board. This is a City board, I am appointed, as are the other three members. A vendor who disputes the City regarding a contract or change order, can appeal the City's decision to us, then if they dont like that, to the Circuit Court (but they have to go through us first). I have been on this board for years and this is only the third hearing. But this is a doozy of a hearing (apparently 11 separate change orders are in dispute) and may need two days to be heard. I am fortunate that I am not working, every time something like this comes up, I have to find child care. One other member is retired, the other is an attorney, and the other owns a restaurant. We are all performing our civic duty happily, we just hope it doesnt take too long. 

Have a great day.

Busy, busy or not busy doing important things

I have very good friends. On Facebook one of them posted this article on How to Escape the Cult of "Busy". You may have heard of it,  I definitely suffer from it. I even joke that I do not know how I had time to work since I remain so busy after several months of not working. My to do list is not getting any shorter but the mean girl voice in my head does get sharper.

I think in some ways, I answer this way because people expect me to answer this way. Sometimes as I think about how I am doing, someone will say "busy" with a knowing glance. I nod because my mind remains blank as to how I am doing. I am smart, but sometimes my mind works slowly. I do not have a quick response for everything (unless it is sarcastic, I always have a quip ready).

The author gives a number of reasons why people constantly say they are busy. I think I suffer from all of them.

I matter
I am super important
I am giving you an easy excuse
I am afraid
I feel guilty

I am not sure how relevant the first two are- but to be honest I am sure there is some of that going into my "I am so busy" mantra. But the last three are the ones that hit home.

The reality is chasing a two year old around all day and caring for a houshold of a husband and two older boys does keep me very busy. BUT there is time, I spend most of it on Twitter and Facebook and generally wasting the time. So while my time is full, it is not fulfilling.  Dont get me wrong, I love Twitter, I appreciate all of the people I follow and let me keep up with their lives, but it is not actually living to do so.

I could try to stop being afraid and guilty and worried about doing something half assed. I could be more silent. Perhaps I should try small increments.

Today I will start with twenty minutes of quiet during Ryan's nap time. I will put the phone away, turn the tv off and read one of the three books on the side of my bed (Bible, Breaking Free, or Lean In). Baby steps for a big change, I can do it. Then of course I will nap, because a mother should always sleep when her baby (toddler) is sleeping. :)  I am joining my friend who said "wont you join me?" in her effort to escape the cult of busy.

You can be sure I am busy, just as I am sure you are busy, but when I ask you how you are, let me know if I can help or let me know how you are for real.

We are gifts to this world, we dont need to listen to the ugly voice in our head.

quiet

Sometimes I find it better to be quiet. Last week was one of those times. The only post I felt compelled to write was about my 8 year old in honor of Martin Richard, the adorable 8 year old killed at the Boston Marathon.

Sometimes I do not write because I have no topics. However, the week before I had actually written a list of about five topics to write about for last week. The adage about making plans and God laughing remains true for me.

One of my favorite tweets of the week came on Saturday morning. Someone (I apologize for not having attribution, I didnt retweet it so I dont know who said it) tweeted the relief he felt when there were no news alert messages on his phone when he woke up on Saturday morning. The news last week was devastating and relentless. Even when away from my tv, computer, phone, the tension was palpable all around.

I barely watched the news last week, preferring to sift through twitter for the news. Sift because one has to be judicious about what to believe when looking at Twitter. I did watch the news on Friday for a little while. I was watching NBC because of Pete Williams. He became sort of a hero last week when he refused to report that the suspects had been caught. What really became clear as I watched the news was how marginalized the Texas disaster had become. I will grant you that the news of "shelter in place" for the whole city of Boston is dramatic news and was very important on Friday.

However,  I am hoping that as we move on from last week that we remember the victims of the Texas disaster and try to prevent such a tragedy just as fervently as we try to prevent a repeat of the Boston Marathon bombings.

As you all know since you are mostly my family, Chris is a volunteer firefighter.  The first responders, of course, were fighting the fire, trying to prevent the fire from spreading to a nearby nursing home and the surrounding neighborhood, when the explosion occurred. The explosion registered as a 2.1 earthquake. At least 14 people were killed, 11 of them first responders. This article about the emergency crews responding to the incident explains the bonds of a volunteer firefighting/EMS community. This is not a news story that should be forgotten, this is a community devastated, needing to feel the support of all of us as they literally sift through the wreckage, bury their dead and try to move forward.

I hope to soon get back to light, fluffy posts about baseball, two year olds and other items of interest to mostly me. I also hope that those impacted by the news of last week are able to find solace and healing soon.

Ode to 8

I call all of my children "my babies", so excuse me when I say, one of my babies is 8. I wont sugarcoat it, he is a handful, as anyone who has been around when we are trying to leave someplace where he is having fun, will attest.

He is super sweet to his little brother. He is super competitive with his older brother.  He hates the idea of going to school, but always has a good day and does well in school. He hates homework and loves dessert. 

Although he is a good pitcher, he is not "great at pitching" as he tells some folks. He refuses to bat in most baseball games because he is afraid he will get hit by the ball (a reasonable fear).  He will play all day with his friends. He is ravenous. His pants are too short because he is growing like a weed. He has worn out the tire on his scooter. He is courageous, but not foolish (unless it comes to his defiance).

If he does get a hit, my 8 year old is so fun to watch run around the bases. He loves to slide into the base. If he knows he has a hit or a steal or a run, he raises his hands and cheers for himself. Everyone in the stands claps and cheers his enthusiasm.

He still tells his mother some secrets, fears, and hopes. He doesnt enjoy a particular game at recess because he is not as good of a runner as his friends, so he spends the time hiding behind a wall so he doesnt get caught. He hates losing more than anything. He wants to go to the fireworks, but is so scared when he is watching them.

He is dirty, he leaves clothes, dishes and papers everywhere. He lets his older brother do all of the chores.

He reads everything. He loves DS, Wii and computer. He is anxious and defiant. He thrives in routine. He wants to learn everything and be better at anything his older brother is doing. I have virtually no photos of my 8 year old alone. He is always with his friends, family, or his father.

He would like this photo because he is about to beat both of his brothers with a snowball. Ah, to be 8.

I am so grateful for my children. Today, I celebrate my 8 year old.
Protect all children from senseless violence and other harms. Give us strength to overcome evil with good in the name of those who could not protect themselves.

Green of Spring

Lots of sad things happen in the world. I can be overwhelmed by the stories and sorrow. I only know one thing to do: pray. I have been doing a lot of that for my family and friends and strangers who I encounter on the twitter.

Back in the day I had a great friend. Unfortunately, we are not close any longer. But I still hold a sacred place for her and her family in my heart. Her father passed away shortly before the summer that we both were to be married.

Her father was an amazing man. He had this great accent and often had wise things to say based on his vast experience. He built things and planted things, traveled the world, and raised four children. Also, he had this sense of beauty that one would not ascertain by looking at him.

Before he passed on May 8th almost 11 years ago, he told his daughter he was glad to have seen another spring. He told her that the green of early spring is something to behold after a long winter. His regret was he would miss that green next year. Coming so close to his death, the comments made a significant impression on me.

Whenever I see the early green of spring, it is a different green than the green of late spring, I think of him, and remind myself to be grateful to be able to see the color again. The early spring green fades quickly and these photos do not do justice to the brightness of the color, but the photos remind me of him and gratitude for another season.